Love...

isn't always like the movies...

it's not always like the books we read...

it doesn't always happen or

Love...

isn't always like the movies...

it's not always like the books we read...

it doesn't always happen or exist as we want it to...

what then...

Surround Me
by ben Taylor
Love surround me with all your reach
Now while we're here alone
Now our bodies are ocean and beach
Blessings of waves and stones

Floating a lonely sound
You found me
And now that the tide is finally down
Surround me
Surround me
Surround me

And love move for me
Roll beneath the sky
Shadows and silver cross your face
Pools a moonlit night
Weak from standing on sandy ground
You found me
And now that I'm finally falling down
Surround me
Surround me
Surround me

Love surround me while you can
Till these waves grow cold
I've gone too deep, I cannot stand
I burned before I froze
Running to save my life
And leaving you
And now in the heat of this dreadful dry
I'm needing you
Surround me
Surround me
Surround me
Surround me
Surround me


I say...for now
do with it what you will

The 6 month Hump....

I'm not quite sure what it is.....today I am in a funk. Today I am questioning everything. Today I am sad.

Maybe it's the weather...
Maybe it's missing my family...
Maybe it's the uncertain future...
Maybe it's... well maybe it's a lot of things...too many things...

Today I wish I was at home..( my parents home) curled up next to the fire, watching a movie or having a chat with my mom and dad, getting ready to put up christmas decorations....
I wish I could go to my old gym, see the people who became my family.
I feel this year has gone by so fast.
I feel lost...

Maybe it's just the snowy days.....

Winter is upon us.....

As much as I hate it....I can feel winter coming. Today was beautiful. I was up walking to the gym at 6:30 a.m. The air was crisp and clean. It was wonderful. The beauty evaporated as I was standing at the traffic light waiting for it to turn green so I could cross. The cold bit right through me...I was even wearing two pairs of pants....not nonetheless the season that I despise is still coming.
I hate being cold.

Gone with everything else......

**** Pictures have been updated***

lately, that's how I have felt about my writing. Its gone, along with my motivation, my energy, my ideas about what will come next for me.....its all gone. I am not sure how I really feel about this.

Yesterday I bought a new writing book. Its not that I don't already have about 12 empty books just waiting for me to open them....crisp, white lined pages where I could potentially write all my thoughts.....the sad part is...lately I haven't been thinking anything....it's all blank. In buying this new book I am determined to find my writing, find my thoughts and feelings again and stop wandering around aimlessly. If I have lost my motivation....well I am bound and bent to just create more....I have it in me....so here goes.

My apologies at not having posted on here for such a long time. There has been a lot of stuff going on. Although the fault is not completely mine. My computer at work will not allow me to log onto this website and as that is when I feel most compelled to write...well...I didn't feel "pushed" enough to write at home. So this will be a long post while I catch you up on what the "happenings" are.

My Birthday Weekend

was a strange one....full of surprises. The Friday night we left late for Gwangju on the bus. We arrived at about 10:30-11pm and went off in search of a hotel that we had both remembered. We walked down a few ally ways and finally found one that was cheap ...25$ for the night...to good to be true....lol an understatement.

We settled in, fell asleep thinking that all would be well for the next morning.

I was restless, tired and waking every half hour to scratch my arms and legs. Finally at about 2am Mathew and I realized that we were both awake, itchy and wondering what was going on. We turned the lights on and to our surprise found that we were sleeping in this motel room with a bunch of mosquitoes. Mathew went about killing them and each time he hit them blood from either Mathew or I went spraying across the wall. They had obviously been hungry.

So we packed up our stuff and left the motel, to wander around Gwangju looking for another motel. 3Am we finally found a nice room, ordered some pizza, rented a movie and settled in. By 5am we were asleep.

The next morning we woke up at 10am and started off to the bus station. We were on our way to Beosong Tea fields. Mathew had yet to see them and I knew it would be beautiful this time of year. After walking, taking a taxi, then a bus we finally made it to Beosong at 3pm - we waited for the shuttle and then made our way to the fields.

This is Mathew taking a picture of the fields.

We had arrived at the perfect time. The sun was perfect, there were few people and we were able to walk around and relax.We had an early dinner of Green Tea Donkas and Green Tea Bibimbap and decided to head back to Mokpo to chill out.

The Marathon Weekend

Mathew and I had signed up to run a 10k marathon. I can guess you are probably thinking that we had practiced long and hard to this...but alas we both ran 5k one time leading up to this event and that was it. Mathew was excited...my goal was to NOT DIE. I had never in my life ran 10k. I was nervous to the say the least.

The days leading up to this were fantastic. Mathew and I headed to Gwangju on Friday found an awesome hotel and relaxed. The next day we woke up late hit The Outback Steakhouse for lunch and made sure to load up on energy that would last us for the race. We then hopped on the train headed for Suncheon. A three hour train ride but we were equipped with drinks, snacks and games. We arrived, found a hotel and went to sleep.

The next morning we got ready and headed to the stadium to meet up with our group. Sloane, Darrin, Jaclyn and Jaimin. Darren and Jaimin were running the Half Marathon, the rest of us were in the 10k. We started at 9:30am.

The energy in the stadium was awesome, so many people all wearing their numbers, stretching and talking to each other. The buzz was amazing. Then our race was called, we all lined up, put our headphones in, wished each other good luck and started on our journey. This is Mathew finishing the race. He ran it in an amazing 00:47:08 ( 47minutes 08 seconds). For never having run before this is excellent. I was so proud of him.

The race started out challenging for me. There were so many people and trying to navigate through the crowd to make a space for yourself was difficult but at the 2k mark ( which I had run without stopping I might add) there was room for all of us. I ran a full 4k straight before I stopped to grab some water and walked for about 200m I then began my run. Since there were many turns we often passed each other heading in different directions depending on which point of the race we were at, Mathew passed me and blew me a kiss, Sloane and I waved to each other.....it was a grueling last 4k for me. I was determined to finish the race even if I was crawling. Before I hit the 1km mark a van drove by with a time clock on the top. I thought I was at 01:20:00 ( 1 hour 20 minutes) I was a little disheartened at that since I had hoped to do better but I ran fast anyway.The last km was the toughest but the most inspiring. As I ran into the stadium i began to pick up speed and use what little reserve I had left. I ran and crossed the finish line with Mathew, Sloane and Jaclyn all waiting for me. It was amazing. I thought I had finished the race at 01:12:54 but I later found out and as you will see in the picture i actually finished at 01:04:54 ( its the second clock from the bottom)

I was amazed and shocked. For my first run...and I didn't die.LOL
We had an awesome time. There have been a few races since then but since Mathew and I have caught a bug ( cold) and can't seem to get rid of it we have put our racing days on hold.

Miss you all lots. I promise to write more often.

xoxoxo