I have not abandoned you!!!!

Hey everyone....please accept my apolgies for not writing sooner things have been so crazy these last couple of weeks. Mathew arrived, we were moving apartments and trying to get settled. We are almost there but not quite in terms of unpacking.





We both start school tomorrow and I am very excited. Having a month off was fantastic but I am looking forward to getting back into a routine and seeing the kids again.





We have filled most of our days ( other than the settling in part) Playing Badminton with friends, walking around Mokpo, relaxing and watching some movies.





Here is a picture of Mathew, Smokey and I in our new apartment.

This is going to be a fantastic year. We will be running in our first Marathon on October 5th, school events will be fun and then there is the anticipation of Witner vacation in 4 months and our trip to Thailand to look forward to.

I promise I will write more soon...I know this blog is kinda "blah" right now.

More pictures will be posted as well

Miss you all lots.

xoxoxo

Has anyone seen my motivation.....I have misplaced it!

What is motivation exactly?
Well I looked it up and this is what I found

Motivation:
1. the act or an instance of motivating.
2. the state or condition of being motivated.
3. something that motivates; inducement; incentive.

what a horrible definition....I mean can you really use the word yo are trying to describe..IN the actual definition? doesn't that defeat the purpose? Thank you dictionary. com for explaining to me that being motivated means " the state or condition of being motivated" WOW what an epiphany. Ok maybe I am the slow one here....but is this word any more clear to you?

I guess I shouldn't become frustrated with the dictionary when really it is myself that I am frustrated....no....angry with. I can make all the excuses I want....but what happened to me.
I realize that I shouldn't compare myself and my behaviour of when I was training for the fitness show to now....wait...why shouldn't I?....I was so motivated....so calculated....I was happy...( mind you miserable at times given the circumstances) but I was energetic...I was busy and confident..driven...I was motivated...and well now....since that show...It has been all i can do to get my ass to the gym...and well....prepare my meals??? really?
It is like all that I have learned....everything I was for those 4 months has just vanished and now...I feel like a sloth....whose journey across the jungle could take weeks....ok so a slight exaggeration but regardless....

I feel like I don't know where I am, who I am or how to be healthy...its like I dont know who I am in my own body anymore.

I am not asking myself to train for 3 hours a day and be ridiculously meticulous in terms of what I eat....but I am asking myself to get out of bed every morning...do some cardio...lift some weights and lose 10 lbs....operation 5kg has been a major failure up until this point.
I have even tried to set small goals...and as a goal setter and someone who ALWAYS accomplishes what she has set out to do...I appear to be failing......badly.

I know that some of you will sympathize with me.....will think that I am being too hard on myself....but really I have given myself enough time to snap out of this hole I have dug for myself. WHAT IS GOING ON? I have been searching for the answer? what am I afraid of?... if anything.....why is this such a challenge that I cannot seem to overcome? I know in my head that I am the type of person who can make a choice and just do it....but with this...I am failing miserably...I cannot even journal properly....I am tired of making excuses....tired of failing......tired of looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person staring back ( and that's not just in a physical way)
I don't like the person I have become....I think I had somehow deluded myself into thinking I was starting to know who I was becoming...but tonight.....lately....i feel more lost than ever.

KOREA vs CANADA ------> KOREA 1pt *** New Pictures Posted***

Today Samuel and I decided to go on an adventure....in search of the place where Hamel and his men were forced to live in Korea. I won't go into detail about the story but they were ship wrecked on Jeju island and were made to stay in Korea. They were here for 13 years.
The site we were looking for is in a small town called Gangjin.....at first it seemed like it was going to be a nice cloudy, cool day...but half way there it started to pour. lol neither Sam nor I bothered to look at the weather....but whats a little bit of rain?

As we got off the bus in the pouring rain we decided to try and wait it out in the bus shelter...looking around there were a few buildings in site....a gas station within walking distance...and only fields for miles. My great idea of the day.....".lets walk to the gas station and see if they have umbrellas we could buy" ....so out we went. By the time we reached the gas station we were soaking wet....and no umbrellas ....lol.....just three Korean men with no idea how to help us lol. So we walked back to the office buildings in search of shelter. As we walked in the men standing out front welcomed us. They gave us a dry towel, a few drinks and a nice room to sit in and dry off. They didn't speak English...and we barely speak Korea...so our game of charades was about to begin.

We conveyed to them where we were headed and once they understood they told us that one of them was going to drive us around to see the museum. ( 1st WOW of the day)
We drove around the old fortress then on to the museum where we met a man working there who spoke some English. He told us that the man driving us would take us where we wanted to go and then drive us back to the Gangjin bus station ( a 25 min drive ) ( 2nd WOW of the day).

He spoke no English but we were able to understand a few things that he was teaching us about the small village and the site we had seen. He drove us back to the bus station and we tried to offer him some money and my banana bread but he would not take it. He handed me his umbrella shook our hand, gave us his business card and told us to call him if we came back. We shook hands, bowed and walked into the bus station.

When these things happen I am so amazed ( which I guess if you think about it is really sad....) but this man took time out of his day, left work to drive two foreigners around in the rain. Unable to communicate through words as to what our plans were we managed to see everything that we wanted to. My thoughts about this event as he was pulling away was " would that ever happen in Canada?". If I was walking somewhere and I was lost, or it was raining...would someone offer to drive me around or at least take me where I wanted to go? ( friends and family not included ) I can honestly say that it has only happened to me ONCE in Canada....yet here in Korea it happens over and over again. Maybe its because I am Canadian...and in Canada people figure we can help ourselves....maybe they don't want to get involved....maybe its fear....don't pick up or talk to strangers...I don't know...but whatever it is...its SAD!

The rest of the day was just as good. We got back to Mokpo, had some lunch and decided to go and check out the Mokpo University Campus. As we got off the bus an old woman waved us over to her shop, invited us in and offered us some cold noodle soup. We sat there with her and her husband and ate the food they had offered. ( 3rd WOW of the day) When we were finished, we said our thank-you's and went in search of the University.

Now do not get me wrong...I am not so naive as to believe that Korea is a land full of helpfulness and happiness.....I am not sure if a Korean would do the same for another Korean and as a foreigner I understand that with that comes some sympathy from others because we are so far from home. But in Canada....would you pick up a foreigner who couldn't speak English and drive them around the city of Ridgetown so they could see some of the historical sites in the area?? and when you honestly answer the question....the question to follow is....WHY NOT????

These were the things I missed....the angels that come into your life.....help you...make you smile....shake your hand and then walk away....expecting nothing in return.

Thank you Korea!!!!